CW: death, mortality
2020 has been a roller coaster thus far, and I still hope it takes a chill pill because I don’t know if I can handle this much devastation and pain in one year. I celebrated my birthday this year at home while wildfire smoke fills the air and a pandemic continues ravaging the world.
This year might not seem so different as I often quietly celebrate my birthdays at home—eating dinner with my mom, and splurging on boba or small cakes/pastries. Since reaching some milestones like 21 and 25, I stopped counting my age too. My birthdays became like any other day, but with the added perk of stuffing my face with cake.
Though maybe with all the events that have happened this year, I am reminded of our mortality. That one day we may be present, breathing, living, and the next moment, we reached the end/the period and we’re gone. I know death is inevitable; it’s part of the circle of life.
I guess that’s why I used to see birthdays as a reminder that my time is limited, that I am one step closer to my mortality. I know, such pessimism.
However, this year, I saw my birthday a little differently, and I have my friends and family to thank. Despite being stuck at home, I felt such immense love from them, and heck, even from my Animal Crossing neighbors. This outpour of love subdued the loneliness that I sometimes felt due to shelter-in-place, and I am so thankful. I wish I could properly express in words my gratitude, but I’ll share this gif that encapsulates my feelings right now:
My birthday this year became a moment of celebration for I have my health, my family, and friends. As some of my Animal Crossing villagers would say, I’ve made another trip around the sun. What a blessing that is!
marisa muses 